“You’ve been un-matched”…There’s no love lost here.

Who's stupid idea was this.. 🤦‍♀️

For the last few weeks, I’ve been wishing I could go back in time and swipe left on this horse. 

I’ve had Cucumber for nearly 6 months and I’ve realised that he’s absolutely not a good match for me… and if he was remotely sellable I would do just that.

But sadly he’s not, and I know where he’d end up. 

Over the last few weeks I’ve been trying to ride him as empathetically as possible and it’s been a total shit show. 

So now I’m really depressed.

And, if I’m honest. I’m scared too.

He’s been rearing…up really really high…and I’ve got the smacked nose and broken helmet to prove it 😢

As if rearing isn’t my most hated ridden vice, he’s also been bolting with his head straight up in the air. It’s really really awful and frankly, frightens the shit outta me. 

So here’s me for the last few weeks, wondering why the hell I even thought this was an acceptable thing to do.

Like, really…who buys a big horse, straight off the track… FROM THE INTERNET? Without so much as a background check.

Urgh, I’m such a dick.

And before you ask, yes I have checked all the things. If you could spare me the tut-tutting for a minute, that would be great.

His feet are nearly fixed, his stomach has settled and he has a perfectly fitted and ‘significantly more expensive than he’ saddle.

I even had his back X-rayed for kissing spines to try and figure out what the hell is going on here. 

…And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed when it came back fine.

Because, if I’m really honest I’ve been looking for an ‘out’. 

And if that damn radiograph had just come back saying that he was physically unrideable then I probably wouldn’t feel like such a failure. 

Anyway, all of this has made me realise what a stupid one-sided, rose-coloured glasses view of equestrianism we all try and project onto the world…

Where are the fuck ups? 

Where are the regrets?

Where are the practical posts about what to do with an unrideable, and generally pretty unlikeable horse?

Well as we all know from the movies, things usually get worse before they get better so click below to see how much worse it could possibly get.